Van's allowed to dinner, and he spends the entire time talking, to Deaq's mom, to his sisters, to his dad, to Deaq. "Let me get that," he says, taking a plate from Deaq's mom and hustling into the kitchen after her. A family dinner, she'd said. Your birthday, she'd said, pointedly and a mom wasn't a mom who didn't know how to lay guilt out like the tightest bust Billie ever planned. Birthday dinner with the family, and his partner along for the ride.
His sisters whoop in delight when his mom brings out a cake, Van balancing it carefully as he swings around chairs to settle it on the table right in front of Deaq. Candles are flickering all over it, the little colorful ones that drip wax onto frosting and a toy car.
Deaq tries to keep it in and can't. It's a snicker, he thinks. That's all it deserves. In the middle of his cake — buttercream and chocolate, like when he was a kid — there's a toy car all scratched to shit and dented on the top, like it's been in an accident. Deaq knows like he knows his name that the car was Van's idea and his mom hugs him from behind. "Make a wish," she says and he blows out the candles.
The smoke curls up, all fragile looking and Dre's there, punching him lightly in the shoulder and the whole world seems so much bigger than it was. His sisters are all there, and his mom and his dad; the only person missing now is Van. The weight that's been sitting on his chest has shifted a little, moved into something lighter and sharper. Deaq ignores it and grins hugely at his brother, pulling him into a half a hug, thumping him solidly on the back.
"Been too long, Dre," he says.
Dre just shakes his head. "What did I tell you, man?" He cuts himself a piece of the cake, picking up the car and looking over it carefully and tsking. "Waste of a good car."
"It's a toy, Dre," says Deaq impatiently. He didn't want to talk about POS toy cars when his brother was being all Mystical Negro on his ass. "What did you tell me, dawg?"
"It's your birthday," says Dre. "You know what you want?"
"You're gonna tell me."
"Damn right."
Deaq has to smile at that. "You know better 'cause you're old?"
"I just know best," says Dre easily. He puts the battered little car down on the table in front of Deaq. "Just like Dad."
"I'd forgotten how annoying you are," says Deaq. He picks up the car. It's warm in his hand and he closes his hand around it, half pissed and half laughing still. "Did you pull this shit with Van?"
Just like that, it's like a bubble bursting and Deaq jerks himself back from the table, looking around at everyone. His sisters look at him like he's crazy and his mother tells him to blow the candles out already. His dad raises his eyebrows and Deaq lets out a long breath.
"Sorry, guys," he says. "Got lost thinking."
"New experience, huh?" asks Van, smirking from where he's leaning against the table.
Deaq doesn't bother to answer. He just leans over and blows out the candles.
The End