A week after the unforgettable test run of the Dragonfly Inn, Luke got a package in the mail with a New York postmark. It contained a brief note, the self-help book he'd lent to Jess, and a check for $50. The note said, "Here's the first payment on what I owe you. I'll send more when I can." Luke put the check and the note into the junk drawer of his desk, where they could stay conveniently lost for a while. Jess needed the money more than he did.
One page of the book had been left dog-eared. It was the start of the chapter titled, "If you give love, you will receive love." Next to it, in pencil, Jess had written "Bullshit." Luke took that to mean that things hadn't worked out with Rory the way Jess wanted. Not that that was a surprise, given the fact that Rory'd had a year to get over Jess.
Luke flipped through the pages. Jess had left sarcastic comments throughout the book in every chapter about romantic relationships. Luke shook his head. A few weeks ago, he would have been angry at Jess's comments. But since Liz's wedding, things had been different. This was a setback, sure, but he was actually starting to have some faith that Jess would turn out okay, eventually. He just needed more time to get over Rory. Luke thought about calling Jess to see if he wanted to talk about it, but decided not to. Jess had made it pretty clear that he didn't want unsolicited advice.
The kid wasn't doing too badly, considering the mess he'd grown up in. The parade of loser guys in Liz's life hadn't provided much of a father figure for Jess. It made Luke think that Lorelai had had the right idea, keeping the men she dated out of Rory's life until she was older. Which led Luke right into a topic he'd been avoiding all week. Dating Lorelai meant being a part of Rory's life.
The problem wasn't with Rory. There were a few things in life that Luke was certain of: he'd never have a normal conversation with Kirk, Taylor would probably need surgery someday to take the stick out of his ass (and when the time came, that was one collection box Luke would gladly donate to), and he'd never admit to having gone under the bleachers with Crazy Carrie Duncan. (What a man did as a hormone-driven teenager was his own business.) But even more than all of those things, he was certain that Rory was a great kid. A fantastic kid, and he didn't want to screw that up.
He'd never really thought about being some kind of role model for kids that weren't his until Jess came to live with him. When he'd thought about being a dad he'd imagined tiny babies, sleepless nights, and 3 a.m. feedings, watching his kid play Little League a few years later, but he'd never really considered having kids drop into his life as fully grown teenagers with their emotional baggage already packed.
Lorelai hadn't said anything, but it looked like Rory was dealing with some baggage at the moment. Luke had gone from hoping that Rory would be a good influence on Jess to hoping that Jess hadn't messed up Rory's life too badly. That hadn't happened, thank goodness, but now there was something else to worry about. With Dean looking scruffier and more miserable every time Luke saw him in town, it didn't take T.J.'s Etch-a-Sketch to draw a picture of what was going on. He'd hoped that once Dean settled into his life with Lindsay he'd get over his lingering attachment to Rory. It looked like he'd been wrong.
Not that he was trying to think of himself as some kind of father figure for Rory. She had a father, and even though from where Luke sat Christopher looked like only a slightly better role model than Jess's dad, Rory was pretty attached to him. And Lorelai had done a great job of raising Rory on her own. Rory was mostly grown up already. She didn't need Luke to be a part of her life.
Except he already was. He'd watched her grow. He'd cried at her graduation. He'd tried to avert this new Dean disaster by keeping her and Lorelai from going to the wedding and keeping Dean from blubbering about Rory to his entire bachelor party. Luke had been there for most of her life, and so had the whole town. She was a fantastic kid who didn't need any more parenting than what she already had, but he had been part of her life for a long time now. And she was part of his. Which meant he was all worked up over nothing.
So he could stop avoiding his thoughts about what his relationship with Lorelai meant for Rory. He would, however, continue to avoid thinking about a few other things, because as much as his new relationship with Lorelai felt real and right and good, it was way too soon to think about building a life with her, about whether or not she'd show up at the altar if he asked, and about whether or not she wanted more kids. Those were definitely topics worth avoiding.
The End